Impaired relationships with others: children, family members, and friends. Self-destructive behavior, such as drug/alcohol use to cope with the abuse. Depression, suicidal thoughts, eating or sleeping disorders. Destroyed self-esteem. Physical injuries: broken bones, bruises or even death. Sexually transmitted disease/infection, including HIV. Difficulty concentrating on daily tasks; thus affecting work and how she relates to others.

Two MYTHS about woman abuse are:

1. If a woman really wants to leave an abusive relationship, she can.
2. If a woman stays in an abusive relationship, the abuse must not be that bad.

Woman abuse is a complex issue. There are various reasons why a woman stays. The abused woman may:

• Love the abuser and hope the abuse will stop.
• Blame herself for the abuse.
• Feel ashamed of the abuse.
• Believe abuse within a relationship is normal (perhaps her father abused her mother);.
• Believe she has nowhere to go.
• Feel pressured by family and friends to stay in the relationship;.
• Lack financial resources; the abuser controls the money.
• Lack educational qualifications, work skills or experience.
• Feel fearful; the abuser may have threatened to kill her, her children, family members or himself.
• Fear that the abuser will take away the children.
• Feel that children need their fathers.
• Know that violence tends to increase after separation.
• Fear that no one will believe her.
• Not speak English or French. She may lack information about community services available to help her.
• Believe that she can't cope without him.
• Not want to be defined as a victim of abuse. It is difficult to admit her loved one is hurting her.

The reasons why a woman stays in an abusive relationship are complex. The ultimate question to be asked, really, is why doesn't he stop abusing her!
 
If you or someone you know is being abused, there are various organizations that can help protect you and your children. Call Hiatus House at 519-252-7781 or the Windsor Essex County Health Unit In-take Nurse at  

519-258-2146 ext. 1350.
Information adapted from the National Clearinghouse on Family Violence.